Frequently Asked Questions
- What is the group's purpose and function? What activities does it engage in?
- What are your rules of inclusion?
- Is it only for men who are out of the closet?
- Is this group for activists?
- What's it like at CGM?
- Will it cost me anything to become a member or attend a meeting?
- What kind of support services are offered?
- Where does the group meet?
- Who can I contact if I have a question?
What is the group's purpose and function? What activities does it engage in?
CGM is a support group. This means that you should expect to gather in a circle at 7:30 and engage in the discussion to whatever level you are comfortable. During introductions you will be asked to introduce yourself and tell us about your prior week, but you are welcome to pass. Discussion topics may follow a theme over several weeks, or may be based on current events, or may be brought in by a member who's seeking personal support. For those who have something to discuss but are daunted by a large group setting, we periodically have "mini-group" nights where the larger group is divided into smaller groups, each going to their own room. On occasion, Friday night support will come in a more relaxed form, such as an interactive activity or movie night, but these will occur only when it has been established that no one has come seeking personal support.
Once a month, a member will open his house for a potluck brunch or supper; these are separate from the Friday night meetings, yet are themselves supportive in the way they provide a setting for gay men to interact socially. Interactive activities (also separate from the Friday meetings) include the AIDS Response-Seacoast Fundraising Gala, the Seacoast Gay Men Annual Cruise, and the Keene Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. These activities provide an opportunity to get to know another gay and lesbian organization and interact with its members. On the second Tuesday of each month, CGM's Reading Group meets at Border's in Concord to discuss the month's selection, which is always a gay-related book. In short, we provide many facets of support.
What are your rules of inclusion?
This is Capital Gay Men. Although we require you to be male or transgendered, we do not require you to identify as gay, bisexual, or questioning. Unless inclusion becomes an issue in the future, for now our general policy is, "if you're comfortable being here with us, we welcome you."
Is it only for men who are out of the closet?
No. The degree of "outness" among our members varies a lot. So too, does the degree of "campiness". Member testimonials (from men all along the outness spectrum) indicate consistently high praise for the comfortable environment provided at the meetings. Our hope is to keep it that way!
Is this group for activists?
Activists are welcome, but the group is not an activist group. We do occasionally discuss politics, and we recognize that we are in a position to become leaders in the gay community, but this has not been our focus. Our main goal is to provide support by fostering a safe and comfortable environment for gay men to meet, listen to and/or participate in discussion, and hopefully, make new friendships.
What's it like at CGM?
Come to a meeting! A member of our Hospitality Committee and other long-time members will likely spot you as a new person and say hello to welcome you to our group. Our hope is that you will quickly feel at home.
Will it cost me anything to become a member or attend a meeting?
There is a $5.00 annual fee incurred with becoming a member. This fee entitles you to all membership benefits. Anyone may attend weekly meetings with no cost. As a member you'll be invited to provide whatever personal information you may be comfortable providing on our membership list, which is distributed to all members about once a month.
There are certain expenses that we must meet to remain a viable group, such as paying a nominal weekly fee for the meeting room space at the church, defraying costs associated with publishing a newsletter and holding a potluck at a member's house, and offering subsidies to members who would like to attend events that the group is sponsoring. For those members who do wish to make a contribution, we place a basket that sits on a table along the wall. The basket is not passed around during the meeting, and nobody takes note of who does and does not contribute.
What kind of support services are offered?
Support comes in many forms, but professional therapy is not among them. We are a group of peers who listen, empathize, and give of our experiences. It has been very helpful for some, particularly when it comes to wanting to talk to somebody about gay issues. It can be therapeutic, but keep in mind that it is not professional therapy!
Where does the group meet?
Below is a map which shows you roughly where we are. For specific directions, read on...we meet at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Concord. Take Rte 9 west out of town (Pleasant Street), and go past Concord Hospital on the right. At the next light, you'll see the Concord Orthopaedics building on the right. Immediately past their driveway is another driveway, with a small sign that says "Enter". This is the driveway for the UU Church. Park in back, enter through the side door, and walk down the hallway, passing through 2 sets of double doors until you see the CGM sign outside our classroom.
Who can I contact if I have a question?
If you have any questions about CGM, please feel free to contact us via any of the methods listed on the contact page.